


Black Coffee and Cigarette Kisses

by MrMcClean



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anorexia, Artist Eren Yeager, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Bottom Eren Yeager, Eating Disorders, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, French-Speaking Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), High School, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Has OCD, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Parties, Romance, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Underage Smoking, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2018-12-12 12:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11737227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrMcClean/pseuds/MrMcClean
Summary: Everyone thought Eren was happy. He always smiled, laughed, and joked around. They never questioned why he never ate, he is just a picky eater, right? (Not my best summary, the tags tell more)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! I am not a medical expert but this story I hold close because I myself have battled with anorexia and orthorexia myself. Please enjoy and if you are struggling please tell someone. *English is not technically my first language so if you notice a grammatical error feel free to comment on it :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren was just a normal teen, he was just always skinnier than most. He was fine, or so thought his friends. What happens when a blacked haired teen moves from France and back to the states. {my last summary, and story was deleted by some weird glitch in my account, so here is it re-uploaded; for the 9th time}

I groaned as I slapped the snooze button on my alarm clock. 2017 and I am no doubtfully the only high schooler still using an analog radio clock. I force open my lead like eyes and glance at the time. The clock screamed red lines that formed 6:00 AM. I lethargically sat up and swung my feet over side my bed. I sat for a minute to prepare myself before heaving myself from my bed and down the hall to the bathroom. Once in I made sure to lock the bathroom behind me. Granted, I only live with my mother at the moment; my dad is often out on business trips, but I would not want her to walk in on her fat ass son. She would probably be scared by how large he is…

 

I took a deep breath and glanced at my appearance in the mirror. My hair was strewn in all different directions, my eyes looked dead and murky and my face is fatter than Honey Booboo's. I pinched at the flab that makes up my face moving my fingers down to my arms, stomach, and thighs. I am carting so much fat on my body I put whales to shame. My hands travel over my body pinching every ounce of fat as my boxers hung loosely over my hips. Before panic set in and do more damage than it had, I averted my eyes from the lard looking back at me in the mirror and knelt down to my knees. I pulled out the scale from under the sink and slowly rose to stand upon it. My legs shook as I stepped on to the scale and I willed my eyes down to look at the glowing numbers. 107LBS.

 

Dread took over my features. I gained two pounds. How is that possible? I haven't eaten anything for the past four days and I gained two pounds! My mind went back to the time I went out with my friends Armin and Mikasa and Petra to the movies. I had a handful of movie theater popcorn and only god knows how many calories are in that. I nearly vomit thinking about it. I composed myself, stepped from the scale, and put it away properly. I try so hard yet I am so far from beautiful and thin. I glance back at the mirror and take in my reflection yet again. How could someone like me have friends? I mean just look at me, I am hideous. My thighs have millions of pounds of cellulite hiding my bones. My stomach has more rolls than an unmade bed and the ground rattles with every step I take. I suck in my gut and even then I look so large, so ugly, so fat. I ripped my eyes from the mirror and turned to the shower. I stepped in and turned on the shower head not caring about the temperature.

I finished up in the bathroom after finishing showering and brushing my teeth. After unlocking the door I draped a towel around my waist and booked it across the small hallway separating my bedroom from the bathroom. Again I locked the door behind me and made my way to my dresser. My room was nothing extraordinary, beige walls covered in pictures and artwork, a bed in the far left corner set across from a closet with a dresser inside, and a desk in the right corner. From my dresser I pull out a pair of briefs, dark wash ripped skinny jeans, and a pale grey pullover sweater.

I hate getting dressed because I feel so claustrophobic in clothes. Men's jeans don't fit me right so I lean to getting women's jeans. I know it is weird but I hate the rough feel of the men's denim style and I like the fact that the soft jegging like material of women's jeans don't bruise my hip bones. I slipped on my underwear and pants I took notice of how my pants sagged at my hips and made a mental note to pick up a belt next time I am out. I then proceeded to slip my pullover on and check the time. The clock now read 6:38 AM and I let out a small sigh. I lumbared to my door and, after unlocking it, headed out to the kitchen. My mom had left me a note and a cup of coffee on the counter.

'Eren,

I had to run out late last night so please don't wake me love. Have an amazing day at school and I am sorry I couldn't see you off today. I made you a snack for art club, it is in the fridge. Have an amazing day and don't forget, your dad is coming home tonight so I am making a big dinner tonight <3

Love, Mom'

I smiled at the note and gladly took the black coffee she made me. Thank the gods it was nice and cold, I hate bringing warm coffee into class. I shuffled to the fridge and pulled out the snack she had made me. It was a small plastic container with homemade hummus, about 35 calories per tablespoon, and some chopped veggies, roughly 200 calories worth. I know I have to break my fast today because of dinner but even if I eat a little of this I would not be able to eat anything at dinner. I decided to just give it to a friend in art club and tell them I had a large lunch. I snatched the container from the fridge and scoured the room for where I left my backpack. I tossed the snack in the bottom of my bag and made my way to the door, mentally checking that I had everything. After locking the house door behind me I started my 20 minute hike to school.

Out of my friends Petra and I are the only artistic ones, Mikasa has Cross-country and and Armin has band. I don't have many friends but I at least I am not that one loner. I have a few friends that are strictly-school-friends like Marco and his boyfriend Jean along with a few kids in my classes throughout the day. I would never be friends with Jean had it not been for Marco. Jean was always pining over Mikasa and Marco had met Armin in band. Armin then introduced Marco and I. I later found out that Marco and Jean had been a couple for quite a while. His pining over Mikasa was a cover-up, but being a senior now he really didn't care who knew. Jean is annoying and an asshole but he isn't a bad guy.

Petra always drags our friend Hanji to art club after school, that is ever since the Chemistry club was shut down. There are so many rumors as to why the club was disbanded. One is that the Chemistry teacher found something not human living in the freezer, another is that the club was actually a cult that practiced some type of dark alchemy. It isn't like I believe any of them, but then again, Hanji and the other members will neither confirm nor repudiate said claims.

As I walked I could feel my fat jiggle up and down and I clenched my jaw praying that no one could notice. I always have a thought in my mind that my friends only befriended me out of pity because no one wants to be a friend with the fat kid. Mikasa has beautiful charcoal hair that shines blue under the sun, deep silver eyes, and flawless pale skin rippled with her toned muscles. Armin on the other hand had golden locks that he had grown out past his shoulders, warm baby blue eyes, and a lean stature. Then there is Petra, she has a type of flowery aura around her. She has thick strawberry blonde hair cut just at shoulder length and honey coloured eyes that reminded me of my mother's. Unlike Mikasa, Petra is on the petite size with a slim waist and a stature that appears fragile but not too fragile.

Over the past year or so I have grown more attached to Petra because we both share the same hobbies. I love Mikasa and Armin the same and the four of us tend to all go out together, it is just that Armin and Mikasa are going somewhere. Not saying Petra isn't, but I know Mikasa and Armin have dozens of scholarships lined up and me, I am not that good at anything. Petra could get a scholarship for art, math, english, etcetera and at the moment, she is not worried about it. With it being our senior year I don't want to hold back any of my friends from their life after high school.

As I walked up to the school building I was greeted with Armin and Mikasa's smiling faces. Armin wore his favorite tan sweater over a light blue top and black jeans and Mikasa wore a grey-black long sleeve, a thin off white scarf and deep red leggings. I offered a smile in return as I greeted them.

"Hey, guys, no Petra today?"

"Are we not good enough," Armin jokingly scoffed.

I playfully back swatted at his arm, "I never said that you turd."

"She said something about and English test she had to make up your ass." Mikasa said smiling at her idiot friends.From there the three of us made our way into school chatting about mindless things.

"So Eren," Mikasa began once the trio had made it to Armin's locker. "Have you guys thought about what college you want to go to?"

Armin hummed in response as he unlocked his locker. "I am stuck between Yale and Stanford. I have a better chance at Stanford but I kinda want to say I went to Yale."

"Are you kidding me go Stanford dumbass! For a person as smart as you I'd think that you could come up with a better reason than 'bragging rights'." I said in all seriousness.

Armin glanced at me with a smile and a melancholy glint in his eyes. "I have a better reason... It is to emotional to bring up this early in the morning, dumbass." He countered.

"Wow," Mikasa laughed, "Way to kill the mood you two saps."

We shared a laugh before parting as to not be late for our first hour classes. For me, that ment French. I don't dislike the class but you would think that after a three years I would know more than basic phrases.

I strode into the classroom and took a seat near the back. I let out a quiet sigh as I pulled out two notebooks and a pen. I opened the smaller of the two notebooks and wrote below the date 'coffee = 5 calories' then grazed the room with my eyes and shut it. I slipped the smaller notebook into my backpack and zipped it up just as the bell rung.

I don't have any friends in this class which doesn't really bother me. After three years of French I just signed up for the AP course for shits and giggles. I mean I always pass with a good grade in this class. The only thing I was not prepared for was the Friday tests. Every Friday we have an overview test, it has only been a month and I already hate it.

"Bonjour classe, Comment allez-vous tous aujourd'hui? (Hello class, how are you all doing today?)" Sung Madame Frank.

"Allons, (come on)" She vocalize. "We have a new student joining us today! He just moved back here from his home in France."

This perked some interest in most everyone, me included. A month into school is an odd time to get a new student. Most transfers wait until the second semester.

"Classe c'est Levi. Levi, voulez-vous vous présenter en anglais? (Class this is Levi. Levi would you like to introduce yourself in English? )"

A man short in size entered the room with a stotic expression set in his features. He wore a pair of black leggings that hugged his ass and muscles paired with a loose fitting grey v-collated t-shirt and a faded brown jacket. He had cold bluish grey eyes that pierced right through me. He was beautiful. He soon met my ogling eyes a I averted my gaze.

"Name's Levi Ackerman from Lyon," he stated curtly to the crowd of students.

"Bien, You can take a seat right next to Yeager in the back of the room."

Levi eyed the back of the room until he spotted an empty seat next to me. That's just great, if my heart doesn't give out because of my obesity this will be the end of me.

 ...

Classes went pretty smoothly after French. I headed over to History with Jean and from there to English. The perks of being a senior come with early leave. After lunch I was free to leave and come back for art class and club. My mom made me take courses over the summer and I am thankful that she did. Not only that I now don't have to take math classes and science classes I get 3 periods off and I don't have to attend lunch. That leaves me with roughly four hours to ditch the school setting and do whatever the fuck I want.

I decided to relax outside at a park near school. It was cold due to it being mid October but I didn't care. I couldn't get Levi out of my head. He drew me away from the hunger pains in my chest and gut. The growl of my stomach is drowned out by the thudding of my heart. I know someone as hideous as me can't get someone as eye-catching as him and the fact he is most likely doesn't fancy a boyfriend. I couldn't believe my heart could beat so sporadically for a guy I don't even know, but, I guess the heart is a funny thing. A guy can dream...

I didn't realize just how cold I was but my teeth were chattering one hundred time per second.

"Eren?"

I knew that voice from anywhere.

"Hey Petra," I said, teeth chattering. "What are you doing out here?"

Petra took a seat next to me and slapped her arms around my shoulders.

"I could ask you the same question. Where is Armin, doesn't he usually hang out with you?"

I relished in the warmth of the heat Petra was giving off. "Yeah," I sighed. "But he had something to do with Jean for his and Marco's anniversary."

"How come you didn't go with them?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Eh, I had a lot on my mind I guess."

"I can second that, you will never guess what happened today when I went to make up that English test."

Petra came to the conclusion that I was listening and continued.

"You remember that one guy I used to talk about, the childhood friend who I hardcore crushed on. He moved back from France and just so happens to be enrolled here. I think I might ask him to the Homecoming, you know, Sadie Hawkins style."

"...That's amazing love, you definitely have to do it. He can't say no."

I should have seen it coming, Petra is pretty and I'm not. He will definitely say yes to her, she is too sweet to turn down.

"Hey, what do you say we head to a cafe until it is time for art?"

"Only if you buy the drinks," I joked. Great, time to lug my fat self into a coffee shop. I can't wait!

Petra and I ended up walking to a Starbucks about a mile from school and hung out there until we had to be back for art. She ended up getting a coffee cake and a caramel frappuccino and she bought me a black coffee. We sat and chattered about tons of different things but the conversation always lead back to a certain French beauty. Apparently they were really close in middle school and she was devastated when he moved back to France when his mother fell ill.

If I am being honest it hurt to talk about the subject. I know I am never going to get a chance with him for the fact I am beyond ugly but, I just have such an attraction to him. I pushed aside my feelings and supported Petra like a friend should.

We arrived at school with a few minutes until the bell signals the class of the day. We headed to Petra's locker to drop off her coat and made our way to the art room.

I have art as my last class of the day then I just stay there for art club. It is sad to know I will not be able to go to a class where I just draw or paint when college comes around. With two advanced placement art classes under my wing I could shoot for an art college but my grades aren't the best. In all honesty I didn't see myself graduating. My grades are not too bad, a B-C average, but I lack motivation. The only thing I feel motivated to do is lose weight. That is just because I can't stand how large I have gotten, I can't remember a time I felt good in my own skin or genuinely smiled at someone. My friends don't question me or my actions because it is just the Eren they know. My mom has taken notice of my melancholy mood behind my mask but she doesn't do anything. I assume that she thinks it is just a case of the blues that comes with being a senior and the season. At times I wish everything would stop, I don't want to die per say, I just want to stop life. I can think of a future where I and thin, beautiful, and content doing nothing but drawing all day, but, this is the real world. I have certain tasks I must complete and in the future I may get thin but I will never be beautiful.

We both entered the art room a few minutes before the bell rung. The art teacher, Mrs. Reiss, doesn't have a 6th hour class and let's us come in early every now and then. Petra and I slipped into the back of the room, took a seat at 'our' table and waited for Hanji. I smiled a bit as I remembered that today, we have a new project assignment.

"Do you know what you are going to do for your new project?" I ask Petra as kids started to pile into the small art room.

"Nothing," she exclaimed. "Apparently my last watercolor piece could have been better executed so I have to redo it along with an essay format critique."

I let out a small laugh. "At least you don't have to-"

"Petra~" came a voice from the doorway.

A smiling Hanji stood there holding a pale hand of someone who was hidden by the door. It was more like Hanji had a death grip on said person's wrist.

"Look who I ran into today!" She exclaimed pulling the person of whom the pale arm belongs as she entered the room.

Levi came into view and Petra smiled wide and waved to the both of them. Hanji dragged Levi behind her as she made her way to the seat beside Petra. We sat at square tables. Petra and I sat facing the front and Hanji sat next to her in the corner with her back facing the wall full if inspirational quotes and vocab terms. Hanji now claimed the seat next to her for the raven haired teen.

"Hey Eren," Hanji smiled. "Have you met Levi yet?"

I gave her a small smile, "Yeah, we take AP French together."

Levi glanced at me and his sharp eyes grew ever so slightly. It was probably because of how appalling I am, no one can a walking ball of lard appealing.

Levi finally spoke up, his accent laced voice ever so smooth. "What are we doing in this class?" He asked addressing no one in particular.

"We are just putting together our portfolio. Mrs.Reiss will either give us a medium and/or concept to come up with a project and we have two weeks to complete said project. Last project I did a watercolor project and I have to redo it because it 'isn't a good example of my talent'"

"Yeah!" Exclaimed Hanji. "We are finally starting a new project, I finished my project in the first four days. I can't wait!"

"I bet you can't," Levi scoffed. "What have you been working on, Eren?"

I hummed in response, "I completed a watercolor realism piece, it wasn't my best but I don't have to redo it so it couldn't have been that bad." I nudged Petra in a joking manner and she slapped my shoulder.

"Shut up it wasn't that bad!" She barked.

Hanji held her laughter but her face spoke for her.

"Was it really that bad?" Petra whined.

"It wasn't bad," came a voice from the opposite end of the table. "It just had untapped potential."

Our teacher stated that with a wide smile and a glint in her bright blue eyes.

"Ah, you must be Levi," She called out addressing said teen. "Welcome to hour seven AP Art, I'm Mrs.Reiss. This is my best class! Do you plan on staying for art club?"

"Yes he will," Hanji intervened answering for the man with the slate black hair.

Levi cleared his throat. "Only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday." He informed with a slight slur.

"Well we are more than happy to have you with us! My Wife Ymir comes and sits in on the activity, you will absolutely love her."

Mrs.Reiss turned around as the bell, signaling the start of class, went off and headed to the front of the studio/classroom. She quickly introduced Levi and went on with our new project.

"This duel-week's theme is different then you have done before. Today in class I will play you a song, an instrumental of a song that is. In a few moments I will have you all close your eyes. I want you to bring to life what you hear. I want to know what comes to mind as you listen to the notes. The size of your piece doesn't matter, nor does the medium you use. Just make sure your portfolio has variety... with that said please, everyone close your eyes and take three deep breaths."

I closed my eyes and let my mind slip from reality. Could Levi be looking at me? I sucked in my gut out of fear he could see me. I suddenly feel so claustrophobic. My skin feels as if the fat behind it will burst through at any moment. My mind slipped onto a head swirl, a war raging. Panic set it, my head spun and then, the music started.

I know this song but I can't think of the name. It is so beautiful I felt my heart aching and this time it was not because of my stomach.

I see immense beauty, like when my mother makes breakfast humming and dancing her way through the kitchen. She is ever so light on her toes, I see my father next to her giving her small kisses when she grants them to him. The way they look so purely in love, my mother's honey eyes bright and big looking lovingly at my father with his long hair and graceful smile. Her dancer's feet stretch up to meet his lips and a moment of pure bliss is visible. I know I will never find something true like that. In the distance I spot a pair of baby blue eyes besides two more pairs, one golden and the other a warm grey. Armin, Petra, and Mikasa all look my way with smiles that could light up worlds, and they do, they light up my world. Beyond that I see deep silver eyes that were sprinkled with a deep blue. My body, mind, and soul are drawn to them like a magnet. Such a beauty is held within them, in him. I want to talk to him, to know him, to be closer to him. Levi has a strong aura around him, one to many is cold and uncomfortable, but, I can't help but feel safe and warm inside. My heart races thinking of someone so beautiful, but I know that it is of no use. Nobody could ever like someone like me. It pains me so much, my eyes burn and I can feel pressure rising in my chest... It won't stop. I see beauty every day. Why can't I just look at myself and see beauty? It's because I am not beautiful...

Gracefully the song faded away but I didn't dare open my eyes. The whole room was silent, you could hear a feather drop. I felt a hand gently brush my shoulder and I now was aware of the rustle of people collecting supplies to start on their concept piece, but here I sat, unmoving. It all sounded so distant as if it was fake.

A soft voice met my ears, "Are you okay love?" Asked the gentle voice. I took in a quiet breath and opened my eyes to see Petra with a worrisome face.

I gave her a curt not and a lopsided smile that I prayed would convince her. "Yeah," I muttered, "I'm fine. I'm just a bit emotional and lost on what to do with this, that's all."

She nodded and stood up to get supplies. I bring my own supplies not only because I know they are mine and how to use them but also because now I don't have to maneuver my fat self around tables and people. I pulled out an 8x10 sketchbook and a charcoal pencil and started on a rough draft for my project.

I had in mind a silhouette of a man lying in a casket of different flowers. Each flower will resemble a moment in my mind. Around the casket will be a shattered take of my brain. My mother and father will be in the far right corner fading into a frame of my friends but warped and not recognisable, and then there will be the man I can't get from my head, Levi. To fill in the white space I will sketch bouquets of flowers to resemble all the above.

I was about to put pencil to paper when someone sat next to me abruptly. I took in a quick breath of air.

"Sorry," Levi apologized after observing my reaction. "I wanted to steal this seat before Petra got back."

"N-no you're good it just startled me a bit." I said with a smile.

"It's Eren right?"

"Yep, the one and only!"

"Funny, I'm Levi. Do you have any idea of what you are going to draw? I am so lost."

I nodded trying not to freak. "Yeah I have a-" A loud rumble interrupted me followed with a sharp pain in my stomach. I grabbed my tummy and held my eyes shut until the pain passed.

"Are you okay?"

I glanced at Levi and gave a weak smile. "I'm fine, my lunch just isn't agreeing with me."

Petra dropped down in the seat to my right. "What lunch," she joked childishly slapping the back of my head. "You were with me dumbass."

"Oh yeah," I chuckled. "It is like me to get breakfast and lunch mixed up, isn't it."

Levi eyed me skeptically. He probably finds me even more dumb now. Way to go Eren, if your weight wasn't an issue he still wouldn't date your dumb self.

Petra laughed at my comment and Levi turned his head down to his blank paper. Hanji was off doing whatever the fuck she does but I really wish she was here to break the awkward silence.

After a minute or so I felt a foot tap mine and glanced to my left to see Levi looking at me.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Asked Levi in a very hushed tone. He looked concerned and I felt bad for lying to him.

"Yes I really am fine."

He gave me a curt nod and brought his attention back to his art. I followed in suit sketching out my concept and altering it to flow more smoothly.

I kept at my sketching and the table was quiet for some time; until I broke the silence.

"Hey Levi," I spoke softly. "How come you won't be able to make it to art club after school on Tuesday and Thursday?" It was a poor excuse for a conversation but my ears craved to hear his voive.

Levi hummed as he lifted his gaze from his project and to me. "I have soccer, I play it to keep in shape for tennis."

"Yeah!" Hanji butted in. "Levi is crazy good at tennis. Back in France he was the best player in his district!"

I smiled as I imaged Levi in a tennis uniform. His toned legs and lean physique in a polo shirt and shorts a tad shy of spanks. I can't believe I was getting turned on by a guy I just met.

"Eren?" Inquired Levi.

I hummed in response and looked at him wide eyed and confused. "Do I have something on my face?" I asked as I frantically whipped my cheeks and nose to rid my nasty face of anything that may make it even harder to look at.

Levi chuckled softly, "No, not at all. I just asked if you play any sports."

My face flushed a light shade of pink and I mentally cursed at my stupidity.

"Oh...no," I mumbled. "I did play basketball in seventh grade up until last year but, I am not really the athletic type."

"That's a bummer," Levi said in a low voice. "You would look cute in a basketball uniform."

My mind went blank, I couldn't process whether Levi was flirting with me or it was my mind making me believe so. I assumed the later because I couldn't imagine anyone, let alone Levi, find me attractive in anyway.

"Eren," Petra called from her seat. She looked at me with urgency in her soft eyes. "Would you come with me to the bathroom."

She didn't quite ask, it was more of a come with me or else. I glanced at Levi who I found was still looking at me. He was subtle enough that no one but me could notice. It sent chills up my spine, mainly because I was not sure if he was looking at me because my repulsive face or because he couldn't avert his eyes from my rolls.

I stood up with a smile and bounced towards the door to grab the lavatory pass. With every step I cringed inwardly because of how the ground rattled as I walked.

Petra followed behind me. I knew she didn't want to go to the bathroom, her voice said she wanted to talk. With that in mind I lead her to our spot in the old costume loft near the back of the school.

As we climbed the ladder it struck me odd that Petra was so quiet and distant on the walk here. Things didn't feel comfortable and that sent my nerves on the wire.

"How did you do it?" Petra asked after we got set on a blanket in the back.

"Do what?" I was so lost it was not funny. We were all having fun a second ago laughing at my stupidity.

"With Levi, How did you make him laugh like that? It took me two years to get him to crack a smile."

I was stunned for a minute but found words in a matter of seconds. "People change love. The Levi you knew years ago might not exist anymore. I didn't know that Levi but, if you knew me when you knew him you would be astonished by how much I have changed."

Petra let that sink in and let out a deep breath. "I guess you are right," she sighed as she slouched onto my shoulder. "I'm sorry Eren, I... I don't, I just got jealous. I know it was probably nothing, I just... really like him."

"Have you ever considered that Levi might not be black and white?" I asked as I tilted my head onto hers.

"I never really thought of it but, he never was one for relationships and romance." She pondered, "You don't like him, do you?"

"Me, no," I responded too quick to sound believable.

Petra looked at me skeptically until my stomach let out a loud roar.

I winced and Petra sat up straight.

"Are you sure you are fine? I can take you to the nurse."

I shook my head. "No, I really am fine, just tired."

"Do you want to skip art and come watch a movie at my place?"

I thought for a moment, I was looking forward to art but, I can't focus anymore. My head was spinning and my depression was dragging me down at a rapid pace.

"That actually sounds amazing, could Hanji tag along to. I love how she makes tea... I just have to leave by sundown."

"How come?" Petra urged as she sent Hanji a text.

"My dad is coming home for the weekend and my mom is making a big dinner tonight."

Petra groaned, "Tonight would have been the best night for a sleepover. My parents are out of town."

"Sorry love," I smiled. "I could ask but I kinda want to spend some time with my dad; maybe go for a run with him early in the morning."

In reality I wanted to ditch the 'why aren't you eating' questions. Petra started catching on to my reluctance towards food but she passes it off as me being picky. I could just tell my parents that Petra later put a feast for me and Hanji to get out of eating much at dinner.

"I understand," Petra said with a smile. "What do you say we drop by our lockers and pick up what we need and then head out. Hanji and Levi will meet us there with our bags."

"Levi's coming?" I inquired a bit taken back.

"Well, he has only been in the states for a week or so. I doubt that he wants to be alone." Petra stated simply.

"You just want to make a move on him, don't you?" I joked, I felt like I was dying as the words left my lips. I don't know why I feel so emotional towards someone I just met but... emotions.

Petra groaned, " Let it go, I am not that fast of cougar."

I smiled at her, "I know love, but you are to funny when you are mad."

With that, we headed off to meet up with Hanji and Levi .


	2. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small apology and explanation for my absence...

I am very sorry for my absence. I am working really hard in typing up all of the chapters I have written so far but, I had a little blip that I was not expecting. I really love this story, and I am weirdly connected to it. I sincerely apologize for being gone this long with only having put up open chapter, but I ended up relapsing after a close friend of mine passed away. With that said, I am hoping to post new chapters monthly but that may change :)

* I have no idea what Ao3 is doing with my spacing, but when I type out my story on google it is perfectly spaced and indented. I have rewritten the story and re-uploaded too many times to count, but it still does the same thing. If anyone knows how to fix that please leave a comment below, because I am so confused.

* I am debating on posting my story on my art account on Instagram, or perhaps creating a new account for that purpose alone. (for the purpose of faster updates) [ Update: I have created an Instagram account - @julesmcclean I will post story updates, short stories, and fan art]

_~MrMcClean_

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a rough and fast paced chapter and it is not my favorite but the second one is much better (so far). I haven't written I ages so thus was my most recent big thing to work on. :) I do post faster updates on my Instagram @mr_mcclean (Juli) ~ JuliMcClean


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